073 Military Spouse Entrepreneurship & Emotional Intelligence with Heather Jones
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On this week’s episode of Money Through Ease, join host Regan Bashara and her guest, Heather Jones, for a discussion about the unique experience military spouses have and why entrepreneurship seems to be a very attractive path for them. Regan and Heather talked about everything from how they’re both displaced Yankees living in the South, to their experiences with family members in the armed services. Heather is a veteran and married a service member who retired after 20 years, and she shares how she helps her clients approach entrepreneurship while also balancing the military family life and being in touch with your emotions. Be sure to follow Heather and visit her website to learn more.
Connect with Heather here:
Website
https://www.heatherjonescoaching.com/
YouTube
https://youtube.com/@heatherjonescoaching
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-jones-coaching/
FB
https://www.facebook.com/HeatherJonesCoaching/
Instagram
http://instagram.com/heather_jones_coaching
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00:00:00 Regan Bashara
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00:01:06 Regan Bashara
All right. Hi.
00:01:06 Regan Bashara
Everybody, welcome to another episode of money through ease. Today I have a guest with me. It's Heather Jones from Heather Jones coaching. Heather Jones is a native New Yorker who now resides in Alabama. So we're both displaced Yankees in the South because I grew up in New Jersey.
00:01:23 Regan Bashara
And I live in Louisiana.
00:01:24 Heather Jones
Oh well, we'll have to talk about.
00:01:25 Heather Jones
That someday, yes.
00:01:28 Regan Bashara
She lives with her wonderful husband and two beautiful children. She's a lifelong lover of books, animals and creating so you know, we're soul sisters. Heather is a certified life coach who has taken the long route with many exciting endeavors on her way here. At 18, she joined the army, met her husband, and after serving six years, exited the military.
00:01:50 Regan Bashara
Early on, she studied baking and pastry arts, which she happily implements in her own kitchen for her friends and families benefit. Awesome. You'll have to maybe see about shipping these delicious goodies.
00:02:02 Regan Bashara
She entered the entrepreneurial world officially as an Etsy shop owner, and over time, while enjoyable, she realized there was something more that she wanted to do and that is when she found her passion to inspire and empower others. And that is where she found poaching thanks so much for being a guest on money through ease. Heather, please.
00:02:22 Regan Bashara
Introduce yourself. Let us know.
00:02:24 Regan Bashara
Who you are.
00:02:24 Heather Jones
Yeah, I will thank you and.
00:02:27 Heather Jones
I love that when you were trying to say baking, your finance mindset was like banking, banking.
00:02:32 Regan Bashara
Yeah, I'm just going to leave that in the.
00:02:34 Regan Bashara
Cut like I.
00:02:35 Heather Jones
Love it? It's so natural. Like it's human, right? But yes, thank you. First of all, thank you for having me on today to chat with you and hopefully share some awesome insights with your audience, your listeners.
00:02:38 Regan Bashara
Yeah, yeah.
00:02:48 Heather Jones
So I think you pretty well covered it in my bio. I'm married with two little ones.
00:02:54 Heather Jones
Some of the things I don't even know if this was in there. I'm a veteran. My husband is a retired veteran, which kind of led me to who I serve today is I I work with military spouse entrepreneurs at this point in my business. But I think you really covered all the key things.
00:02:59 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:03:10 Regan Bashara
I think that's such a common like journey or path.
00:03:15 Regan Bashara
For folks who are in the military or maybe a veteran or retired veteran, which the difference between that is like you served but you didn't like, retire from the armed forces versus?
00:03:27 Regan Bashara
You spent 20 years there at least, and then you got to retire as a veteran. So I see a lot of folks like move into that entrepreneurial path or journey, you know, rather than going out and like finding a job in the marketplace. Can you tell us a little bit about what that experience is like for you and maybe how that intersects with the work that you?
00:03:46 Regan Bashara
Do with your clients.
00:03:47 Heather Jones
So I actually served six years just over six years.
00:03:51 Heather Jones
So I didn't. I personally did not retire from the army. I met my husband while we were both serving and he retired, so I followed him on his career and he actually did go the traditional got out of the army and went into.
00:04:00
Yeah.
00:04:06 Heather Jones
You know, working in like a nine to five, so to speak, but I I can still see where somebody coming out of the military after 20 years might have the passion or the idea that entrepreneurial pursuit is where it makes sense for them because the military is so structured and for 20 years of your life and most people joined.
00:04:09 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:04:27 Heather Jones
1819 years old, so.
00:04:29 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:04:30 Heather Jones
For all of those years, this is life. This is just the way it is. And then you move into what we call the civilian sector. And it's just like a culture shock for somebody who had served for so many years.
00:04:34 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:04:38 Regan Bashara
Mm-hmm.
00:04:43 Heather Jones
And some people just don't thrive in an environment that's so different than what they had experienced for 20 years. So where you could go into entrepreneurism, you can make it what you need it to be. And you know, to thrive in the areas where where you know your strengths are so. I mean, that's just kind.
00:05:02 Heather Jones
Of.
00:05:03 Heather Jones
My thought on it, but yeah that makes good sense.
00:05:05 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:05:08 Regan Bashara
Yeah, like and it is such a structured life that you lead in the military. My stepdad was in the Air Force and he retired from the Air Force in 1999. I live in Shreveport, LA, which is next to Bossier, where Barksdale Air Force Base is, which is global.
00:05:23 Regan Bashara
Right command like we're kind.
00:05:24 Regan Bashara
Of we're kind of a big deal down here.
00:05:27 Regan Bashara
But like I.
00:05:28 Regan Bashara
Kind of grew up in that environment of like moving around and watching, like growing up, watching him like and his, you know, work life being so structured in the military because.
00:05:39 Regan Bashara
It's a job.
00:05:40 Regan Bashara
It's a life like they tell you where to go. Like who you get to be. And you're right when you start and you enlist at 18 years old, your brain isn't even fully developed yet. So they really structure.
00:05:53 Regan Bashara
Kind of who you become as a person with this very regimented lifestyle and even like the way that you work and the way that you respond to situations and stuff, I think that would create such a unique experience for someone who left the Armed Services and becomes an entrepreneur and like.
00:06:11 Regan Bashara
Have to figure out how to create that structure that kind of regimented lifestyle and work style for them, or work ethic for themselves, without like a boss or a commanding officer like telling them what to do and.
00:06:25 Regan Bashara
Where to be?
00:06:26 Heather Jones
Yeah, I think, yeah, I think that's funny. It really you could look at it either way, right? Like you've already, you've always had this person telling.
00:06:32 Heather Jones
Know what to do, and now you're supposed to figure it out on your.
00:06:35 Heather Jones
Own, on the other hand.
00:06:36 Regan Bashara
Do this or go to jail.
00:06:38 Heather Jones
Yeah, right. Literally, yeah.
00:06:41 Heather Jones
You do have.
00:06:42 Heather Jones
That discipline and structure that is so much a part of who you've been conditioned to be at that point after that many years. So it's almost like you kind of know like, this is just what you do. You get up early, you get going, you do the thing, you get your body moving, and then you get your brain moving and all the things. So I can see how that would work really, really well for some retiring service members.
00:06:55 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:07:01 Regan Bashara
Yeah, for some folks. And then maybe for some folks, it is the fact that they have that external force of like someone to be accountable to and now that person, there is no person. If they go into business for themselves, it is them that they have to be accountable to. I wonder if there is kind of that binary experience between folks that really thrive on.
00:07:21 Regan Bashara
Already being the person that is organized and has a structured lifestyle and gets up and gets moving and.
00:07:30 Regan Bashara
Versus the person that does need that kind of external accountability. And I don't want to say pressure, but just like somebody else to kind of say, hey, you need to be doing this. Yeah. Yeah. So that's really cool. I haven't had. I don't think I've had a veteran on the show. I'm trying to think, but I would that just occurred to me that like that might be.
00:07:37 Heather Jones
And leadership, right?
00:07:50 Regan Bashara
Such a.
00:07:53 Regan Bashara
Interesting experience that, like other entrepreneurs like myself, who have not been in the armed service like just not, you know, coming up against that. Can you share with us what you specifically do with your clients and maybe like what a typical day in your business looks like?
00:08:08 Heather Jones
Sure. So very specifically, I work with military spouse entrepreneurs on finding their version of balance and flow between all the responsibilities that a military spouse preneur takes on. So, you know, kids usually not always, but.
00:08:24 Heather Jones
UM, taking care of the home and then filling in the gaps when they're service member is on the go. Whether that's a TD Y which is temporary duty, you know they just go to another location for a short period of time or deployment where they're overseas for a long period of time and I help them learn how what their passions are.
00:08:43 Heather Jones
Can be pursued now, not when their service member retire.
00:08:47 Heather Jones
Or leave service and how they can do that in a way that feels good to them, where it doesn't feel like planes crashing all over the place like everything feels like it flows well in harmoniously.
00:08:54 Regan Bashara
Yes.
00:08:57 Regan Bashara
Mm-hmm. Awesome. So if we are working with somebody that is a mom or the woman and who is who has, like, a spouse that is in the service, and they've decided that they want to create a business for themselves, have you? I don't know how long you've been doing this.
00:08:58
But.
00:09:17 Regan Bashara
Specifically or with this group of folks, but have you noticed a change?
00:09:21 Regan Bashara
And the availability of entrepreneurship because of like the things like online businesses and remote working. And you know if you are deployed with your spouse and you're living overseas like you could possibly still run it online business based with like clients in the United States. And is that more available to people and like easier to manage and?
00:09:40 Regan Bashara
Access because of like the shift to the online virtual world.
00:09:45 Heather Jones
So yes and no.
00:09:46 Heather Jones
No.
00:09:48 Heather Jones
So mostly you kind of hit the nail on the head. I think you were saying was like it's it's mobile, right? So as you're moving around?
00:09:53 Heather Jones
With your spouse.
00:09:54 Heather Jones
You can usually you're unless you you know you have this grand idea to open a brick and mortar, which is kind.
00:09:59 Heather Jones
Of a thing.
00:09:59 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:10:00 Heather Jones
You're gonna really be able to, but if you have an online business, it can be very mobile, so you can move.
00:10:02 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:10:07 Heather Jones
It can move as you.
00:10:08 Heather Jones
And that is very alluring to a spouse. Who knows that she's gonna have to find something new to do every couple few years. And that was certainly what.
00:10:16 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:10:18 Regan Bashara
Just upgrade your life and figure something else out.
00:10:19 Heather Jones
It was like for me.
00:10:22 Heather Jones
And by the way, you have to quit your job and find a new one at the next location and start from the bottom to work your way back up.
00:10:24
Yeah.
00:10:26
Yeah.
00:10:27 Heather Jones
To the top.
00:10:27 Heather Jones
And it's like, are you kidding me? I'm not doing that every few years, so having entrepreneurial endeavors for military spouses is extremely.
00:10:29 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:10:38 Heather Jones
It's either that they're already doing it, or that they have the inclination to want to do it and there is a huge percentage of us that that is the path that we've chosen. It's like 48% big. It's a big number. That said, a lot of times it can even go overseas the businesses.
00:10:52 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:10:58 Heather Jones
And go overseas with us. But there are some countries that don't allow military spouses to work, so I can't say specifically which we have. We never went overseas as far as, like, a duty station, just deployments and whatnot. But gotcha, yeah.
00:11:02 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:11:06
OK.
00:11:14 Regan Bashara
Cool. That's interesting. Like, I don't. I really did not intend to go on.
00:11:18 Regan Bashara
This like tangent military.
00:11:18 Heather Jones
It's not a journey, no.
00:11:22 Regan Bashara
But it just like occurred to me, and I'm like, oh, this is interesting and like something that I hadn't thought about with this specific, like, community of folks. So it's just interesting to think about.
00:11:31 Heather Jones
Just curious thing for so many people who don't.
00:11:34 Heather Jones
Know what the lifestyle is.
00:11:35 Regan Bashara
Like, yeah. Yeah, like my mom married my stepdad when I was like 2. So she always had, like, a career. And she's been a computer programmer. So like.
00:11:45 Regan Bashara
Oftentimes it was available for her to do remote work, but in like the 90s like we think now like remote work is actually pretty common. But like my mom was doing that in the 90s when not a lot of folks, you know, they were commuting to a job. So us moving around didn't really like.
00:12:06 Regan Bashara
I don't know. I'll let her speak for herself if she wants to, about whether or not that really affected her career, but from where I'm sitting like she was able to make those those changes and adjustments to her career. And she hasn't owned like, a business. She's always, you know, had a.
00:12:22 Regan Bashara
A job or a role in somebody else's company. So it's just very interesting to think about. Not my family's experience, but I think that it lends itself so much to like the spouse, being an entrepreneur or being a business owner, because, like, we always love to talk about flexibility as business owners, whether or not we can find that flexibility and can hold ourselves to that. And I think that is a good.
00:12:45 Regan Bashara
And a segue into the topic that I want to talk about, which is that you help folks really Navy.
00:12:50 Regan Bashara
The self-care journey of being an entrepreneur and being a whole person who is a business owner is a parent is a spouse is their own person, not in relation to anybody else. What way can we look at self-care through the lens of money and finance? And that's what we talk about.
00:13:09 Regan Bashara
This podcast.
00:13:11 Heather Jones
Yeah, I love that question because so many ideas, and it's not a topic I usually like. I talk about self-care all the time, but.
00:13:18 Heather Jones
Through.
00:13:18 Heather Jones
The lens of finances. It's really cool to be able to dive in here.
00:13:18 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:13:20 Regan Bashara
Mm-hmm.
00:13:22 Heather Jones
So let me start with when I talk about self-care, absolutely. I talk about the whole person. So we're not just talking about, like getting massages, getting pedicures, you know, eating a salad for lunch. We're talking about caring for your emotions, your mental state, your spiritual state, all like the whole entire person, and I think.
00:13:30 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:13:38 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:13:43 Heather Jones
Also on that note.
00:13:45 Heather Jones
A lot of people think like self-care is selfish or it's the thing I'll get to like I know I'm supposed to do it, but I'm OK, right?
00:13:50 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:13:52 Regan Bashara
Now I don't like I'm doing OK. I'm yeah, the alarms aren't blaring. Why do I need to take care of myself like it's?
00:13:55 Heather Jones
Great.
00:13:57 Heather Jones
Like I'll get around.
00:13:58 Regan Bashara
Not an emergency. Yeah, right.
00:13:58 Heather Jones
To it right?
00:14:02 Heather Jones
Personal development is business development. At some point you'll get stuck. You have to care for yourself along the way in order to continue to keep that flow in your life. So self-care is you know that massive part of personal development.
00:14:17 Heather Jones
Now when it comes to finances, a lot of us get a lot of heartache around finances like money can be a huge stressor.
00:14:25 Heather Jones
People and so like some of the things that we can do like the first thing that comes to mind, right, let's just say we have to pay bills and that can be a huge.
00:14:34 Heather Jones
Stress.
00:14:34 Heather Jones
For for people. So you're getting ready to pay bills. Maybe you start a practice if you know it's a stressor for you where you.
00:14:35 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:14:45 Heather Jones
What I would call ground yourself, but it's you. Just do deep breathing. You just settle your mind and body so that you go into.
00:14:56 Heather Jones
The bill paying you know the process of, you know, taking care of your finances in a more settled state.
00:15:03 Heather Jones
And so that it's not such a stressor. It's just a fact. It's just a thing that you do. And so when it comes to deep breathing, I do think it's important to know that, like you, there is a way to do. You can't read the wrong person. Yeah.
00:15:04
Yeah.
00:15:16 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:15:18 Heather Jones
But it is important to note that the breaths should be deep and you should really try and be like working towards you know, pushing it kind of down into your diaphragm, which is, you know, just like below your rib.
00:15:28 Heather Jones
Page and the reason that's important is because most of us just naturally breathe into this space. Shallow chest breath and that can be a stressor in itself.
00:15:38 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:15:38 Heather Jones
And so taking a moment before you're going to do the stressful thing like paying the bills or diving into whatever it is that you're doing with your finances, taking an opportunity to do the deep belly breaths and giving yourself a good solid minute or two in that space where you're just focusing on your breathing will get you to a place where you feel so much more centered and it.
00:15:58
Hmm.
00:15:58 Heather Jones
It starts to bring that stress level way down, so you go in a little bit more clear minded.
00:16:03 Regan Bashara
Yeah. And you specifically work with people with somatics kind of coaching tools and somatics is, I want to say just linked to our nervous system whether or not it's activated, it's over activated. It's under activated or if we're within our window of tolerance so.
00:16:23 Regan Bashara
A lot of my clients or people who come to me that want help with, like their bookkeeping and their business.
00:16:29 Regan Bashara
Are stuck, are procrastinating. Can you speak to a little bit about why that might be in in relation to like nervous system activation? Because money can be an emotional thing or it can be something that really triggers you to be like your fight or flight response and like or freezing up. And that is the place that we don't want to manage our finances.
00:16:49 Regan Bashara
Problem.
00:16:50 Heather Jones
Right. Yeah, so absolutely every thought we think.
00:16:55 Heather Jones
Impacts our body. Our body is responding in some way.
00:16:58 Heather Jones
And so if we're stressed, we're thinking quote UN quote negative thoughts about.
00:17:04 Heather Jones
The finances, then our body is reacting and we we're we're often not really aware that it's reacting because we are so somatics. It's it's what you said. So just like a really, really simple explanation is semantics is dealing with the body and it's dealing with the mind. Body connection. Yeah. And so when your body is responding.
00:17:24 Heather Jones
Negatively, and you're not even noticing it. There's this whole stress response that's happening. You're creative and.
00:17:29 Regan Bashara
Mm-hmm.
00:17:34 Heather Jones
More like here. Now in the moment brain kind of shuts down and that primitive brain kicks in and that fight flight freeze kind of like you talked about. That kicks in and so and that reacts. We have a reactive state in the body where our nervous system just does very much go into like OverDrive and it's like OK I gotta keep myself safe.
00:17:38 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:17:40 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:17:54 Heather Jones
You got to keep myself safe and the fact of the matter is you are safe. It's about retraining your brain and your body to know, OK, there's no lion chasing me. I'm just paying bills. And at the end of it, I am going to be OK so.
00:17:56
Samwise.
00:17:59 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:18:06 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:18:10 Heather Jones
Believe it or not, deep breathing is very much a very simple somatic exercise that you can do to calm the mind and the body.
00:18:18 Regan Bashara
Mm-hmm.
00:18:18 Heather Jones
And that's and that really is a way to like reset the habit and start to create a new habit for yourself where you don't go into that OverDrive stress response.
00:18:29 Heather Jones
There's all sorts of other things you could do, though. Somatics is it is like movement of the body. It's also it can be visualizations, believe it or not. So you can visualize sitting down and being calm about paying your bills.
00:18:29
Yeah.
00:18:37
Hmm.
00:18:43 Heather Jones
You can. There's all sorts of practices that you can use. If I mean the deep breathings for everybody, but if you're feeling like you need more cuz that's OK. We're whole human beings and not the same things that work for.
00:18:48 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:18:51 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:18:53 Heather Jones
All people. Maybe you need a little bit more. So give yourself permission to use your body how you need to do it.
00:19:00 Heather Jones
Have you ever noticed, like you get really stressed and you like, just have this like you? I I just feel like I have to shake it off. I just felt like I just want to shake it off. I want to shake it out.
00:19:04 Regan Bashara
You're like holding your breath.
00:19:06 Regan Bashara
Wanted.
00:19:07 Regan Bashara
See.
00:19:09 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:19:10 Heather Jones
The other day I got sober, stressed about something, and I'm not gonna lie. I was a complete Spanish. I was by myself in the House and I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm about to lose my mind. I gotta move my body. I started jumping up and down and just shaking my arms and flailing my body. And by the end of it, I was like, good, it's gone.
00:19:29 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:19:30 Heather Jones
So yeah, giving yourself permission to use your body to, you know, kind of get release that energy that's pent up. Otherwise it stores itself in your body and it.
00:19:39 Heather Jones
Over the long term, it's not good.
00:19:40
Yes.
00:19:40 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:19:42 Regan Bashara
And because it is that mind body connection, it's like literally a flip or switch gets flipped in her brain from like logical, like, I'm a rational, educated like, you know, I'm an organized person. I'm on top of my ****. The switch gets flipped and all of a sudden I am the.
00:20:01 Regan Bashara
You know, animal, the animal instincts kick in and like, oh, the lion is chasing me. And we can look to animals. We can look to children, the animals, the dogs.
00:20:10 Regan Bashara
And they, you know, like they're barking at somebody outside and you notice, like, once they're done and, like, the danger, the person who's just walking passes the dog will, like, do. It's like shaking thing. And that is like them using their body to reset like that mind body connection of, like, I'm not in any danger right now.
00:20:30 Regan Bashara
And we can look to kids too. Kids getting zoomies like.
00:20:33 Regan Bashara
They're like trying to regulate their nervous system or they're like dancing around or fidgeting. And you know, it can drive parents crazy or they're grown-ups crazy, like, sit still, you know. But that is them trying to like, regulate, and it's a normal thing to do. But once we're adults, it's like kind of been programmed out of us to, like, use the body.
00:20:54 Regan Bashara
To reset things to get us back into the.
00:20:58 Regan Bashara
Like you said, I'm safe. Like I'm not in danger, but.
00:21:01 Regan Bashara
I want to.
00:21:02 Regan Bashara
Speak to the safety thing. I 100% agree that safety is a mindset that.
00:21:07 Regan Bashara
Is something that.
00:21:08 Regan Bashara
I've been working on, but for folks that are sitting down to pay bills, it may actually be a thing about safety. Like, if I don't pay the water bill, my water gets cut off. If I don't pay the light bill.
00:21:19 Regan Bashara
Lights are gonna get cut off. What can you say to a dress like that? Actual feeling of, like, some of these things. Like, if I didn't have them, I wouldn't feel safe. And so that can come up when you're paying them.
00:21:32 Heather Jones
Yeah, absolutely. And first thought and and it's that's such a great point.
00:21:36 Heather Jones
Because for some people, paying the bills truly is a major stressor if.
00:21:41 Heather Jones
You're living paycheck.
00:21:42 Heather Jones
To paycheck. If it's like, do I get, you know, groceries, or do I pay my energy bill, like, that's no joke. That is absolutely not to be overlooked. And we're not gonna pretend like, that's not difficult.
00:21:42 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:21:47 Regan Bashara
Totally.
00:21:57 Heather Jones
And you can still care for yourself, your body in the process.
00:22:01 Heather Jones
So it does come back to. I'm always gonna come back to start with deep breathing. Like if you if you listen to anybody in the personal development space, you're gonna hear deep breathing over and over and over and over. And and is it is free. It's accessible to everybody and nobody even has to know you're doing it right. It's just a thing that you can have for you. The other thing is.
00:22:06 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:22:11 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:22:17 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:22:22 Heather Jones
There's a couple of other things that come up. One thing that can be really, really helpful with when it comes to.
00:22:28 Heather Jones
The money is, you may have heard like the phrase money mindset, and it can you can work on that in a couple ways. You can journal like, what am I feeling about money? Do I love money? Do I hate money? You can really. I mean you people are always more than welcome to come and ask me. I'm like the journal prompt queen you.
00:22:37 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:22:47 Heather Jones
Want a journal prompt? I love a journal.
00:22:49 Heather Jones
Yes, I love to journal. I've created journals. I have all sorts of.
00:22:52 Heather Jones
Comes for you and we can make them what you need them to be. That said, like you could go to Google or.
00:22:53 Regan Bashara
Awesome.
00:22:57 Heather Jones
Yeah. So you can search for money, mindset journaling prompts, and you can work through like what is really coming up for you. What are the emotions there? What? How do you feel about money? Did you have a story?
00:22:59 Heather Jones
Search for.
00:23:02 Heather Jones
Yeah.
00:23:10
Hmm.
00:23:18 Heather Jones
Growing up that was being shared around you that you've taken as your own. That money is evil. Money is the root of all evil people who have money are evil. Money doesn't grow on trees. It's not easy to come by.
00:23:26 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:23:30 Heather Jones
Having that story resonate within you is not your fault. One it's not a place to be shamed, but it is something that can be shifted. We can change our mindset around how we feel about money. You can change your relationship with money so you can do that with journaling or you know you can just. You could work with somebody one-on-one where they can ask you the questions.
00:23:52 Heather Jones
I've done exercises where.
00:23:52
Yeah.
00:23:57 Heather Jones
The, like the coach or the the one person is money is is the money side of the conversation and I might say like I'm not feeling the love from you lately. Why don't you like me and you can talk to me as though I'm money and you're like look, you haven't been there for me. I don't trust you.
00:24:11 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:24:16 Heather Jones
And that can be extremely cathartic to get it off your mind and off your chest, and also really eye opening, cause you're like oh, wow.
00:24:20 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:24:25 Heather Jones
That was in there and so often so many things that we don't even realize are rattling around in our head or living in that space, come out in those discussions or those journaling sessions.
00:24:31 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:24:36 Heather Jones
And it can bring a huge awareness there and then that's an opportunity for healing because whatever you had been feeling then, it's out in the light of day and then you can take it and you can start to shift it and you can replace it with things that do feel better.
00:24:36
Yeah.
00:24:50 Regan Bashara
Yeah, I love that. And I think that even the work that I do with my clients, we can't even get into that work.
00:24:58 Regan Bashara
Until they have some way to care for themselves with their mindset and with their body and the somatics, and, you know, having a practice that you come back to to bring yourself out of that like activated nervous system state is essential to do before we start talking about like.
00:25:18 Regan Bashara
We're going to connect your bank account to QuickBooks like we can't even get to that point if you're in the place where you're activated, you don't feel safe. You're it's an emotional experience. Things are coming up for you.
00:25:29 Regan Bashara
So like that literally blocks you from being able to make good choices, and I don't specifically do that work like I'm not licensed or I would not consider myself qualified, but I do that work for myself. So you know, if that is coming up for somebody, I would actually be like, hey, maybe like we need to find you someone to work with so that we can do the money role-playing.
00:25:50 Regan Bashara
Or some coaching on creating a habit for your deep breathing. If we're going to set a time to sit down and do your bookkeeping, which is what I tell folks to do, like, put it on your calendar, maybe the beginning of that appointment with yourself is 2 to 3 minutes of.
00:26:05 Regan Bashara
Deep breathing or a guided meditation or something to bring you back into a good state where we can be creative, we can solve problems because you can't do any of that from that activated place.
00:26:19 Heather Jones
Absolutely. I love that you mentioned guided meditation. There's one that comes to mind that is extremely effective when, so when we're stressed, right, our body is naturally in a very tense state. We're usually not aware of it again, but.
00:26:32 Heather Jones
It is, trust me.
00:26:33 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:26:34 Heather Jones
But a thing that I love to do for myself and with clients is, umm, something called a body scan. And there's different ways that you can do a body scan. And one of the ones I love is a tense and release. So you literally from head to toe, you tense and then release each body part individually. And by the time you get to your toes.
00:26:48 Regan Bashara
Yes.
00:26:52 Heather Jones
Like whoa.
00:26:54 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:26:54 Heather Jones
I had no idea I was that tense, but you could feel it released and that can be a really great place to start to.
00:27:01 Regan Bashara
Yeah. And literally from like the top of your head, like your eyebrows, your eyes, your mouth. Yeah.
00:27:07 Heather Jones
Clench your jaw and then you just let.
00:27:09 Heather Jones
Everything slap just.
00:27:10 Regan Bashara
Yeah, I am constantly sitting here with my shoulders up against my ears and I'm working. So like I have the standing desk, I will, like, raise up my desk so that I can like, stand and have good posture. And then I have to like, squeeze and, like, let go to it. It's like.
00:27:25 Regan Bashara
And once again, like going back to that mind body connection and using the body to inform the brain that like we're safe, there's no reason to be, like, so tense and alert right now. And I I find it fascinating that this work really is about, like, moving your body, pushing your body, touching your body like self massage.
00:27:47 Regan Bashara
Like tapping all of that stuff.
00:27:50 Regan Bashara
To send a signal to your brain because we we think that it's just a One Direction thing we think, OK, we think the thoughts like the neurons are firing in our brain, the electrical signals and then it goes to our muscles and there's no backwards flow of information. But there is like and it's.
00:28:10 Regan Bashara
Something that we can tap into literally EF 2 tapping is like my favorite thing. I love it and like anytime I am having like a moment with money or with my business or.
00:28:23 Regan Bashara
The client or gosh, an e-mail.
00:28:25 Regan Bashara
Will, like the phone will ring, will ring and.
00:28:28 Regan Bashara
I'm like, alright.
00:28:29 Regan Bashara
Like gonna take a minute and do some.
00:28:31 Regan Bashara
Tapping for like.
00:28:33 Regan Bashara
5 minutes because it does just bring me back.
00:28:36 Heather Jones
Down, yeah, yeah, tapping side. It's not one that I personally do with clients, but it is one that I've had done with me.
00:28:42 Regan Bashara
Yeah, it's so good. And you can find like, you know, look up EFT tapping on like YouTube and find like a 10 minute guided, you just have to hit a few points and.
00:28:42 Heather Jones
And love it. It's so good.
00:28:44
Yeah.
00:28:52 Regan Bashara
That's amazing. I love it. What inspires you to kind of keep creating, keep doing this work? What about specifically the situation your clients find themselves in when they come to you? Is the thing that keeps you coming back like, what is your why, I guess.
00:29:09 Regan Bashara
We could put it succinctly.
00:29:11 Heather Jones
What is your? Why? Because I think so many people misunderstand the why, like what is my why? Ohh, to make money right?
00:29:19 Heather Jones
Of course. Naturally, yeah.
00:29:22 Heather Jones
My my wife is.
00:29:27 Heather Jones
It stems from where I came from, right as a military spouse. I have to give a little. I'll try to keep it succinct really quick, but I have to give a little background to get like, so you know, because like they say, I think we talked about this earlier in the conversation. We usually coach where we come from. If we didn't. That's true. Just.
00:29:43 Heather Jones
So you know, we often.
00:29:45 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:29:45 Heather Jones
From where we come from. And So what happened was.
00:29:47 Heather Jones
When I.
00:29:49 Heather Jones
Married my husband. He and I like. So we met in the military. I got out. He stayed in. I had a I got out. I had a career and I was doing big things in my career. My husband decided he wanted to do the 20 years and I was like, oh, cool. So I get to quit and, you know, leave behind everything that I built. And it was a deeper conversation. But essentially, that's.
00:30:07 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:30:09 Heather Jones
What it was.
00:30:10
Hmm.
00:30:10 Heather Jones
We'd have to move every few years. I had to ditch what I had them doing and working at all my dreams and all my goals.
00:30:16 Heather Jones
And I didn't do anything with any of the stuff I had been working on. It all fell, you know, by the wayside, started having kids, and I lost.
00:30:28 Heather Jones
Everything that I loved to do for me in the process, I loved my kids. I loved supporting my husband, and I wasn't doing anything that spoke to me. When I finally came around and realized, hey, I get I do get to have something for me that I love. It was like this massive realization and this.
00:30:31 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:30:48 Heather Jones
Oh, there you are, Heather.
00:30:50 Heather Jones
It's nice to meet you again. Like.
00:30:50 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:30:53 Heather Jones
I I've rediscovered that piece of me that had been like, shuffled to the bottom of the pile. All the other things that need to be done, and I never want to feel that way again.
00:30:58 Regan Bashara
MHM.
00:31:03 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:31:03 Heather Jones
And I am. So that brings me to where I am as a coach today. I realize that there are so many moms generally, but in the military it's a whole other level. Your service members gone a lot.
00:31:11
Oh yeah.
00:31:15 Heather Jones
The level of responsibility, and I think you know other moms like single moms, for example, can relate to this as well. The level of responsibility is on a whole other like plain.
00:31:20
Oh yeah.
00:31:28 Heather Jones
And it can be very disheartening, very depressing, very sad, and nobody should have to live like that. You should get to know that you are just as important what you want in life is just as important and what you strive to do is equally as important. And that's my why I don't ever want to see another mom sit down and go. I'll take care of me.
00:31:34 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:31:45 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:31:48 Heather Jones
20 years when my service member retires.
00:31:50 Regan Bashara
Hmm.
00:31:52 Regan Bashara
Yeah. Thank you for sharing that with us.
00:31:54 Regan Bashara
And I I.
00:31:55 Regan Bashara
Love that like every guest I have on has been really vulnerable with like sharing. You know, their journey because it does service to no one, including ourselves, but especially our clients or people listening to kind of like not share in the things that are maybe bringing up a little bit of guilt or shame.
00:32:13 Regan Bashara
Was there like something specific that you got back into in terms of like a hobby or an interest that made you realize like, Oh my gosh, I need to, like, find something for me that is not for anybody else?
00:32:26 Heather Jones
Yeah, so oddly it.
00:32:28 Heather Jones
It started. It wasn't like a bam. There's that idea, right? It was very gradual. And so initially a friend of mine, an army friend of mine, had reached out and she was like, hey, I'm part of.
00:32:40 Heather Jones
This it was.
00:32:40 Heather Jones
An MLM and so she was recruiting me into the MLM and I didn't know what it was but I joined with her. I was like cool. It's something that I get to do bring income to the family when I stay home with. I just had the one.
00:32:50 Heather Jones
Right at the time. I'm like, yeah, that sounds like fun. Let's.
00:32:52 Heather Jones
What and what happened was that led me to realizing, OK, this doesn't really feel like they tell you you can own your own business, right? No shade. But for me, I was like, it doesn't really feel like I own my own business.
00:33:07 Heather Jones
But you know what? I want to. I want to own my. I really like that idea of having the thing that belongs to me. And so that's what led me to opening my first Etsy.
00:33:13 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:33:16 Regan Bashara
Awesome.
00:33:16 Heather Jones
I was learning to crochet in Carlyle and my friend was like you should sell those hats on Etsy. I was like what? OK.
00:33:19 Regan Bashara
OK. Yeah.
00:33:25 Regan Bashara
We're totally soul sisters. Like the books, the crochet. What else did?
00:33:30 Regan Bashara
You have on baking animals.
00:33:34 Heather Jones
All the things, yeah.
00:33:37 Regan Bashara
Yes.
00:33:38 Regan Bashara
That's so cool. I think the multi level marketing companies, the MLM, I feel like are the gateway drugs, entrepreneurship.
00:33:46 Regan Bashara
For a lot of.
00:33:48 Heather Jones
That's so true, I think I've.
00:33:50 Heather Jones
Heard somebody else call it a gateway drug. So that's definitely what it is, absolutely.
00:33:54 Regan Bashara
It's like that is the doorway that you get into and you're like ohh like I could do. Sure I could do this, but like I could also come up with my own thing. If and especially folks that are creative in any sort of way. Like, yeah, you're going to be like oh, like I can take this.
00:34:09 Regan Bashara
Kind of a template of, because they really do.
00:34:12
Like.
00:34:13 Regan Bashara
Have a lot of support and teach you and give you resources and materials to market their product for them. And there is, from what I know of it, like I've not ever participated in in one myself selling things, but from what I know like there is like a community aspect to it like we're all in this together, we're all gonna.
00:34:32 Regan Bashara
Kind of work together as a team.
00:34:34 Regan Bashara
Whether or not that is like true on an individual level, I think for the most part that's what they try to indicate the experience to be. And you know you can see that like I can learn how to sell something. I can learn how to be part of a team. I can learn how to run my.
00:34:48 Regan Bashara
Business and be like accountable to myself and then take that template and move over here. Sell something that I've created or services that you know I am an expert with this particular thing. And so I I do see it as like a gateway drug. There's always any client that comes to me that is a woman that.
00:35:09 Regan Bashara
Maybe has children and is running her own business at some point in her in her working history, she has done lip sense. Or what is it like the Lula row and stuff like my grandma sold Avon and Mary Kay like back in the day?
00:35:25 Heather Jones
Like they're rich and they're some other rich alums, I think.
00:35:27 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:35:28 Heather Jones
Yeah, they're Amway. My parents sold Amway. I didn't.
00:35:29 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:35:32 Regan Bashara
I don't even know what.
00:35:32 Heather Jones
Know what that was them. Ohh.
00:35:33 Regan Bashara
That is it's.
00:35:35 Heather Jones
Anyways, we don't need to get into it. We're listening. No, they remember their too.
00:35:38 Regan Bashara
OK, OK. Yeah. I mean and when I was a child, it was Tupperware. And then pampered Chef was the thing. Oh my God, those women were crazy for pampered chef. What kind of tips if you could?
00:35:56 Regan Bashara
Go talk to yourself in the past.
00:35:58 Regan Bashara
One by ten years ago, maybe 20 years since your husband is retired and you're maybe looking back and starting on that journey. What kind of tips or advice would you give to yourself back then that you think the the listeners, whether or not they want to take the advice, might need to hear?
00:36:19
So.
00:36:20 Heather Jones
I go back to.
00:36:23 Heather Jones
Self-care isn't selfish, but I want to switch that around a little bit because it's so like it's clear, like, OK, I've heard that a.
00:36:28 Heather Jones
1000 times great. Thanks for that, right.
00:36:30 Regan Bashara
We get it right? Yeah.
00:36:32 Heather Jones
Thank you for beating me over the head with it still isn't resonating. Here's the thing. Most of us don't do self-care at all, or at least on the level that we should be doing it because we are so busy caring for other people. Here's the.
00:36:35 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:36:45 Heather Jones
Reality at some point when you're caring for others and you're caring for others and you're caring for others, you're going to get exhausted, you're going to get overwhelmed, and you're gonna get completely burned out. I'm not a gloom and doomed person, but the fact of the matter is, this is what the future looks like without figuring out how to give back to yourself.
00:36:55 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:37:01 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:37:02 Heather Jones
Essentially, those people that you love and you're caring for so much you won't be able to care for on the same level and your teaching.
00:37:09 Heather Jones
Them.
00:37:10 Heather Jones
That when you're a parent, you don't get to care for yourself. And someday those little people watching you, those people around you watching, they're probably going to be parents too. And even if it's not parenthood, right, it could be siblings. It could be other people watching us. They're learning from us. You're teaching them how to be.
00:37:14
Hmm.
00:37:21
Mm-hmm.
00:37:30 Heather Jones
In your way of being without even saying it.
00:37:33 Heather Jones
So when you practice self-care, you're showing.
00:37:36 Heather Jones
You're showing yourself how important it is and how much you value yourself.
00:37:40 Heather Jones
And.
00:37:40 Heather Jones
That's a huge subconscious message to yourself, and you're sharing showing those who are watching, whether it's your children or whomever that you're, you get to do it now.
00:37:44
Yeah.
00:37:51 Heather Jones
And you're refilling your cup so you can continue to show up for them in the long term.
00:37:55 Heather Jones
So when I say self-care isn't selfish, that's what's behind that message.
00:38:00 Regan Bashara
Totally. I don't have children on purpose and I feel like whenever I say that I have to tag it with like and that's a conscious choice. Like you don't have to feel pity for me. Nobody feels bad anyways. Tangent.
00:38:13 Heather Jones
I'm doing OK. We're here. Thank you very much. Right.
00:38:19 Regan Bashara
I look at the work that I do not only like in the bookkeeping and the finances and stuff, but running a business as I want to both have the business owner life that I want to have. That is, is, is supportive. I take time off like I'm not always stressed and like freaking out.
00:38:38 Regan Bashara
But I also want to model that for my clients like they are working with me so that they can have more organized finances so that they can be, you know, the business owner they want to be like. And if I'm not doing those things myself, first of all, that's a disservice to me.
00:38:57 Regan Bashara
But it's also not modeling that behavior for my clients. I'm not like walking my talk at that point. So there was a point where, you know, I was feeling a lot of shame about, like, credit debt. And, you know, all all this kind of stuff or like feeling really anxious about taking time off, even though like.
00:39:16 Regan Bashara
I don't have to ask anybody permission to take time off anymore and I was just like, first of all, this is what I wanted when I started a business is I wanted that experience for myself and.
00:39:29 Regan Bashara
I want to model that behavior for the people who are watching me, like I'm a visible person because I'm online selling my services and, you know, even with friends or people in my community that are entrepreneurs, like, I just want to model that, that kind of lifestyle is available like.
00:39:49 Regan Bashara
It does take work to get there, but so many of us default to.
00:39:53 Regan Bashara
Being super stressed and burned out because it takes intention and it takes work to have those habits of taking care of yourself, to prioritizing yourself care. So for me, like I don't have children or little folks in my life that are necessarily watching my every move, but it is especially important for.
00:40:13 Regan Bashara
Folks who do or don't have children like model the kind of behavior that.
00:40:19 Regan Bashara
You want.
00:40:20 Regan Bashara
For yourself, but like to see out in the world as well.
00:40:24 Heather Jones
Yeah, I love that. That's such a great perspective because I I am a mom and I do work with moms. My tendency is to go like we're showing up for our kids. Right. But there's so many other people in life that we show up for. Your clients are huge group of, you know, who we show up for and modeling. You definitely can't do the.
00:40:35
Yeah.
00:40:42 Heather Jones
Do as I say, not as I do. That doesn't work ever for kids or clients. And yeah, you can't go. This is how you do it. This is how you do the thing and not be living that thing. He's going to trust you. There's you've got to be coming. How do I know that this is how you do it? Because this is.
00:40:43
Yeah.
00:40:45 Regan Bashara
Right, yes.
00:40:48
Yes.
00:40:56 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:40:58
Yeah.
00:41:02 Heather Jones
How you do it it works.
00:41:03
Right.
00:41:03 Regan Bashara
Yeah.
00:41:05 Regan Bashara
Exactly what would you like to share with the audience? Maybe, like, do we have a way that we can come find you and work with you or learn from you? Do you have like a resource that you want to tell folks about that they can start implementing this work in their business?
00:41:24 Heather Jones
Sure. So I have to apologize because I I know that you have male and female listeners.
00:41:31 Regan Bashara
Yeah, it's all all the people.
00:41:33 Heather Jones
Yeah. So, I mean, men are more than welcome to take what I have. But what I have created is specifically for moms. So I have a for women, really.
00:41:43 Heather Jones
I have a UM.
00:41:45 Heather Jones
I should go back to moms. It's for moms. It's it's three ways to stop the mom guilt on the spot is exactly what it's called. So stop for months. But I have that's a freebie that ioffer. I also have videos all over YouTube, which you don't have to you have to give me an e-mail for that, and you can watch it. And there's lots of information that anybody can take for themselves and implement. But if somebody wanted to reach out, the best way is probably through my website.
00:41:51 Regan Bashara
OK. Yeah.
00:42:09 Heather Jones
Which is super easy. It's Heather jonescoaching.com.
00:42:13 Regan Bashara
Amazing. Anything else you can think of that you want the audience to know before we log off?
00:42:20 Heather Jones
There's always 8,000,000 things I, uh, let's see. I I'm, I'm.
00:42:27 Regan Bashara
It's OK if the answer is no right now too.
00:42:30 Heather Jones
The one thing that comes to mind, I am a true cheese ball and absolutely strong believer in that if you want it, it's available to you.
00:42:40 Heather Jones
And so, don't deny yourself the opportunity to claim it.
00:42:45 Regan Bashara
I love it. Perfect. What a great note to end on. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing just some great advice, tips and like, sharing your experience with us too. Like, I think it's so important for folks to see themselves in people that are once again modeling the kind of business owner or the mom or the spouse.
00:43:06 Regan Bashara
That they themselves swamped of these. So I really appreciate you sharing your story.
00:43:11 Heather Jones
Thank you. Thank you again for having me.
00:43:12 Regan Bashara
On thank you for joining me on this episode of Money. Through ease. If you found value in today's discussion, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a rating and review your feedback really does mean a lot to me. And if you're ready to take the first step towards organized finances, be sure to download my free receipt.
00:43:32 Regan Bashara
Organization guide to chaos. To calm, visit the link in the show notes to grab your free copy. Now remember your financial journey starts with small steps. I'm here to support you every step of the way until next time. This is Regan Bashara from money through ease. Stay empowered.